What do you see in that picture below? A demotion? Proof of failure? I've wondered, too. But one thing I knew through this process: I was driving the conversations.
My team and I had been layered after just having been put through a big reorganization. I was losing their confidence.
And, I was facing down a performance improvement plan (PIP). I fought. I was mostly able to sink the PIP because I believe in myself, know myself, and keep meticulous notes. But, the next day, Friday, I had to fly home to see my dad who's battling cancer.
The weekend hit. I had some time to think, breathe... I had my parents at my side, listening, supporting... One big question took up my focus: What am I fighting for?
I had been asked to put aside my passion, writing, and to focus on teaching my team my magic. I tried to find joy in acquiring new skills, growing my management toolkit, but ... I wasn't fooling myself. I was miserable. Stressed, burned out...
I'm a "lead from within the pack" kind of person. I model. I coach. I celebrate and call out others' wins. Monitoring others' commitments? Hounding them about the minutia of working life. No sir. No thank you.
So, I did what I always do. I hunted for positives ... and points from which to make a case that was forming in my mind:
I'm a born writer. It's all I've ever wanted to do, and there's no end of copywriting needed at my company now.
My copy is some of the best-performing and drives real, significant business results.
My copy clears important editorial hurdles, like SEO and strategy checks, which means those team members could spend less time on my work and more on other projects.
My second is a great editor and has aspirations to lead. By promoting him, we signal growth opportunities are available.
The points kept rolling in...
I gathered myself. I mustered some vulnerability, and I sent an email that described honestly how little passion I had for my current role. I flowed in the bullet points. I hit send, and I waited.
The response I received? It was full of surprise. Excitement. I could hear my leaders' wheels turning. They knew they had a win on their hands. We all knew it. So, my request for a new title went through.
In our culture, most advancement is through management. You're good at something? Okay, now, go show a team how to do it. I used to say this to my writing students, especially my poets:
I can't teach you to be a writer. I can teach you the skills you need to master to start your own journey. The rest is up to you.
I'm a "lead from within the pack" kind of person. I model. I coach. I celebrate and call out others' wins. Monitoring others' commitments? Hounding them about the minutia of working life. No sir. No thank you.
I took a pay cut, but it's livable. And, I've gained my joy. A longer, brighter future at my current company.
Here's to the wins. You have more control than you might ever realize. Take stock. Make your own way.